Diggin In

Dig In!

No, I am not referring to the joyous activity that followed a Thanksgiving Day prayer for the meal.

I am talking about the other ‘memorable’ activity. The one every Infantryman, Marine, Ranger, and SOF Operator would like to forget.

Now, I recognize not every veteran was a ‘ground pounder’ and some of you may not have a clue of what I am talking about. That painful memory of ‘Diggin In’ every night I suppose is one (of many) things that we alone, we knuckle draggers, have the pleasure of experiencing in our careers. I know every devil dog, 11 bang bang, or operator knows exactly what I am talking about. You guys got up close and personal with dirt at some point. Before I move on I want to say that I am convinced that you all are truly children of God:

“then the Lord God formed the man out of the dust of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Genesis 2:7

For the rest of you, ‘Diggin’ In’ is a referral to the process of literally digging a hole in the ground big enough for you and maybe a battle buddy to fit in. Whether you called them defensive or fighting positions the intent was the same….to reduce your chances of being shot and subsequently holding your position. A well established fighting position would offer both cover and concealment thereby giving you an advantage from an approaching enemy. It sounds sexier than it really is. In fact, it is a painfully laborious activity that is typically done without payoff (until it does).

I am pretty sure I hated ‘Diggin’ In’ even when I knew the purpose of the act. But I am here to say that you should embrace the principle and understand the value of it going into civilian life too.

You need to bust your rear end in all arenas of life if you want to be successful and that includes doing the simple tasks right as well as regularly.

I personally chose to go into agriculture after I separated from the Army. It was a good fit for me. I am not saying that it would be a good fit for everyone but for those of you who haven’t considered that route yet, let me give you my quick sales pitch.

There are a lot of things that translate directly over from the military to farming, especially for us ‘ground pounders.’ You don’t make much money, you get to get up really early and bust your back before breakfast, you eat that hardy breakfast and then go straight into planning your next field exercise (then execute). You don’t worry about falling asleep because just like in your fox hole, the sweat on your brow, the calluses on your hands and the dirt under your finger nails will ensure a restful slumber. You’ll probably have to work weekends and holidays too. Bad weather will impact your day. A few people will think what you are doing is cool but most won’t even know who you are or think twice about what you are doing (or what you provide them). So yeah, if that doesn’t sell you on farming I am not sure what will.

Ok, maybe farming is about as dumb as joining the military and requesting combat arms. Then again, I was never the smartest guy. Just a cocky, hard working fool, who believed in what I was doing, and slept well at night. I guess not all that much has changed for me.

In all seriousness though, even if you don’t replace the sickle of death with a sickle of harvest be of the mindset that “Diggin In” is just part of living.

Sure, you can choose to blow off responsible actions to have an easier closure to your day but the man who works harder and longer will be the victor. Choosing not to dig in is the easy thing to do but the day you must defend your position you’ll probably wish that hard and mundane task had been perfected.

So whether you are going to be a plow man, computer man, sales man, news man, or whatever….get out your e-tool and get to work. Spend a few extra moments with your children (where they are actually the center of your attention), put money away into a retirement account, do your best no matter the level of position in a new career, etc. You won’t see immediate value but trust me, they are worth doing. And to top it all off, Life will be similar to your leaders and instructors in that you will often be placed in some rocky or swampy situation. Stay the course.

The author of CBD is giving you some pointers on how to establish, improve, and protect your fighting position. I hope you are able to benefit from them and develop healthy habits that could save your life.

As for me and the author. You may not see us or know us but if you just stop and listen you’ll certainly hear us in the dark. We are the clanging of shovels to your left and right. We are ‘Diggin In’ too.

-CWS

 

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The first few months

I know it’s been a while since I’ve had a post.  This is mostly a one man show, and sometimes life grabs you by the balls and you have to focus all your energy in gingerly extricating yourself out of that particular conundrum.  That’s another way of saying I’ve been busy, but I’ve been thinking about you guys still.  So lets get to it.

When you first get out…

You have just uprooted everything in your life.  Most of you joined the military in your teens or early 20’s.  All of your friends are from the military, your free time, your hobbies, your interests were all molded by the time you served, even your haircut and the clothes you wore were influenced by the military.  Now you’re on your own.

Maybe you moved some place new.  You probably started a new job, and now you’re trying to make new friends.  Your wife no longer has an FRG support group, and your kids are in a new school.  Everyone is experiencing higher levels of stress, and most of the time, you’re going to have troubles in your job as well.

You need to give yourself a chance to figure this life out, take a breath, and make sure everyone in your family group is on the same page.  It’s not all sunshine and rainbows like you thought it was going to be, but just like the beginning of your military career: the first week at basic training is not what the rest of your career will be like.

Training

Believe it or not, the military does an excellent job of training and preparing you for each new position compared to the civilian world.  Before every major leadership step, there is a training academy of some sort with a single standard that one must at least achieve before actually performing in that role.  From basic training to CGSC, every one of you went through some sort of training.  You were taught the basics that every soldier must know to survive, then you were taught the minimum requirement for the next leadership position you were going to take.  That training didn’t stop there though.  When you arrived at your unit, you were trained further, or maybe you went to MOS specific schooling, the bottom line is that you spent an assload of time just learning how to do your job.

When you get in the civilian world, you’re probably going to get a day or maybe two on safety information, some powerpoint on what your job is, and that’s pretty much it.  Yes, I understand there are exceptions, but most entry level jobs will require very little training and that is what you will get.  The end result is that when you start your job, you will have no fucking idea what you are doing for the first time in your life (or since you can remember) and that is going to be frustrating as hell.

I remember sitting in the office asking questions and trying to find things to do because I was so damn lost all the time.  One would think that as a former Infantry Lieutenant I would be comfortable being lost, but I hated it.  I hated not knowing and understanding the business.  It pissed me off that I didn’t know the intricacies of manufacturing, material flow, or what a Kanban was.  I certainly didn’t know how to use SAP or how to fill out employee time cards.  I felt like I was failing at a job that I knew I should have been able to do.

It gets better

Over time I learned about the business, and all my frustrations made me that much better at my job because I would not stop until I had answers.  Then once I understood what I was doing, I started working to make it better.  How can this process be improved?  What parallels can I draw from the military here?  Where are there efficiency gaps?

Once I was able to become a change agent because I understood the business, then the job became much more rewarding.  I was training other folks as they came in, anticipating problems before they occurred, and improving my sphere of influence.  This helped me get a great work/life balance, spend more time as a husband and father,  even find time to write a book and start the blog you’re reading which has brought me great joy (thanks for all the messages!).  Life is great, and I am so glad I made the decisions I did.

I’m better than you

I got an email from one of my old SSG’s who has a Bronze Star license plate.  Some dude asked him what the star meant and jokingly he answered, “It means I’m better than you.”  I loved this guy because of his unrelenting sarcasm regardless of the situation, but sometimes it’s missed.  “I laughed and smiled but he definitely didn’t think it was funny,” he told me in a message.

Now before all you keyboard warriors start typing away about how much a problem that attitude is with the military, let me tell you something:  No one gives a fuck what you think and you don’t have to tell the world when you don’t like something.  You can, in fact, shut the fuck up and move on.

So anyway…Many of us really do struggle with taking a step backwards responsibility wise.  You spent years making life or death decisions leading hundreds of men and accounting for millions of dollars of equipment, now you’re in charge of no one and the only property you have you can hold in one hand [queue the dick jokes].  It’s hard to stay motivated, particularly if you have a shitty boss too.  If you stick with it, if you can endure some bullshit while you learn about the business, I can tell you, you are going to move up fast.  The skills you learned in the military are going to make a huge difference, and you will see that the only limitation to your potential will your wants because few people out there can compete with you.

-LJF

 

Getting out of the military is hard!  Don’t make it harder on yourself by not being prepared!  Buy CONUS Battle Drills:  A Guide for Combat Veterans to Corporate Life, Parenthood, and Caging the Beast Inside!

Abundant Toxic Leadership

I used to think that the military, with its rigid caste structure and virtually guaranteed promotion rates for officers was particularly suited for the megalomaniacal personality that is germane to toxic leadership.  Now that I’ve had years in the civilian world, I’ve come to find that toxic leadership is actually the norm.

Ask any Soldier, Airman, Seaman or Marine…

Ask anyone who has served in the military if they have ever experienced a toxic leader, then sit down because it’s going to be a while.  My experience was in the Army, and I can tell you that we felt the wrath of self-serving senior leadership so much that it became it’s own joke:  The Big Green Weenie.

The Army has a way of screwing you over that is so powerful and personal, a lesser man would be broken by it, but soldiers are not lesser men.  They manage to find a way to survive through it.  Some are particularly strong willed and make the decision to stay and become a better leader than they received, most just get out.

Recently I spoke with a friend who is getting deployed in a few months.  The Army is changing its command and control structure and their unit is facing an 18 month deployment to Kuwait without combat pay.  Think about how many levels of leadership this decision had to go through, but no one stopped it.  No one spoke up that this was unnecessary and unconscionable.  Bottom line is, they don’t care about the soldier.

I’ve seen toxic leadership first hand when a company commander used an incorrect codeword while our unit was on DRF (2 hour recall) and we all thought we were about to make a jump into some combat environment.  I watched soldiers hugging their children at 4am in the parking lot, then turn in their cell phones, only to find out it was all a drill.  When I confronted the commander about it, as his XO, I was reprimanded.  He didn’t care about the company of men he was leading, he cared that he could add a bullet to his OER.

Identifying Toxic Leadership

As I have slowly matured over the years (very slowly), I have learned to study the toxic leader instead of getting angry, and impart lessons to their peers, subordinates, and leaders in the hopes that behaviors can be eliminated.  Just today I heard about a leader who denied all overtime pay to an employee that only worked 47.5 hours instead of the arbitrarily assigned 48 hour minimum.  There is no company policy that says you must work a minimum of 48 hours to get paid for any of them, so this must be something he has decided to implement.  After I heard the story,I thought about the short-sightedness of this particular leader.  What was more valuable?  Paying this man 7.5 hours of overtime, or saving John Deere the few hundred dollars?  By saving the company a minuscule amount, he totally eradicated any possible clout for this employee (and all others that may hear the story) and the employee is sure to give minimum effort for this boss in the future.  That leader showed he doesn’t care about the individual.

The problem is that the toxic leader is usually unaware that they are a problem.  Many of them have “studied” leadership extensively, and in my own unscientific observation, there is an inverse relationship between the number of John C. Maxwell books on a shelf and the quality of the leader. Here’s an easy test to determine if you are one of those people that is a problem:

  1. What is more valuable to you, a “good job” from your boss or your subordinates?
  2. When a problem occurs, do you think first how to fix it or who to blame?
  3. When you look back at your career, what are you most proud of?  Personal success or your subordinate’s success?
  4. Do you believe fear is a powerful motivator?
  5. Do you take the time to know the people that work for you?  Do you know their families? Their goals?  Their hobbies?

If praise from your boss means more to you, if you always look to assign blame, if your personal success is most important, if you believe fear is a powerful motivator, and you don’t know your subordinates, YOU ARE A TOXIC LEADER.

I’m just going to tell you, because no one else will:  Your subordinates hate you, many would really love their jobs if it wasn’t for you.  People have changed careers, uprooted their families, and took pay cuts because they would rather do all that than work for you.  You are not better than anyone else, in fact, you have been promoted further than you deserve because you like to kiss ass. You should not be in charge of anyone.  You haven’t been passed over for promotion unfairly and you do not deserve any more responsibility.

Is your subordinate Toxic to your organization?

There are some of you that are good leaders, but have subordinate leaders that are toxic and don’t even know it (Let me just say, if you know that a subordinate is a terrible leader and you leave him or her in that position, you are just as at fault for the stress, pain, and cost that the toxic leader causes, and you are a coward).  So i’m going to give you some tips in order to identify these people.

  • You are looking for someone that places the organization above their subordinates.
  • You are looking for someone that has no trouble accepting praise and rarely gives anyone else credit.
  • Ask them what they think of their peers, if they have mostly negative things to say, then you likely have a toxic leader.
  • When something goes wrong, see if they tell you who was at fault or if they focus instead on how to fix the problem.  See how easy it is for them to answer the question about who was at fault.
  • Talk to their subordinates.  If you’re a leader that’s worth a damn, then you should already be doing this.

Someone who doesn’t care about employees who is in a leadership position is like a nuclear bomb to morale.  These people negatively influence not only their own teams, but adjacent units as well.  Their mere presence reduces productivity, and drives away your best leaders.

If you care at all for the people working for you, you will actively hunt down any toxic members and eliminate them from your team.  If you don’t want to do that…well…you’re the problem.

-LJF

Getting out of the military is hard!  Don’t make it harder on yourself by not being prepared!  Buy CONUS Battle Drills:  A Guide for Combat Veterans to Corporate Life, Parenthood, and Caging the Beast Inside!

What it’s REALLY like to ETS

Alright, if you’re still in uniform, then maybe you have some fantasies about what it’s going to be like when you ETS, i’m about to tell you the real God honest truth…

Step 1

If you are retiring, step 1 does not apply:

It all starts when you make the decision to get out and you inform your command.  You’re resolute, but they want to shake you, so all of a sudden everyone in your chain of command wants to be your best friend and sit down for a chat.    You also can’t refuse because they promise they won’t sign shit until you’ve sat down with all of them.  So begrudgingly you sit down and listen to all the reasons why getting out is a bad decision.

Step 2

It’s time to clear!  Now these motherfuckers get their revenge.  You want out?  You’re going to have to pass the mother of all obstacle courses, travel to thirty different locations in search of coveted stamps.  But you must get there while they’re open, still make it to formation, train your replacement, clean your gear, and be there to help your family move.  Good luck.

 

Step 3

Freedom!  Oh man, let me tell you, there are very few things that feel better in this world than the last time you drive off post clutching that stamped DD214.  It’s really hard to describe.  You remember how it felt when you started block leave after a deployment and the first sip of beer hit your lips?  That’s nothing compared to this.  I laughed for hours with a smile firmly affixed to my face.

 

Step 4

Starting your new life!  It’s time for a new and exciting career!  You’re elated to get on with life now that you have officially ETS’d.  The work feels easy in comparison to what you have been doing.  No need to get up at 5am, no uniforms, no duty, no weekend formations, no safety briefs, and no deployments.  You sleep in your bed every night and when you walk out of the office, work is left there.

Step 5

Then it happens…the monotony of daily life hits.  You’ve gotten fat because you haven’t been working out, so you have to get up at 5am to go workout at the gym.  Then you go into the office, sit in a cubicle and listen to people complain about their tedious jobs.  As you work your way through powerpoint, you imagine jumping from a plane, assaulting an objective, firing your weapon.  You remember the smell of the firing range and the pulse in your chest from explosions. You think about your buddies, usually the ones that didn’t make it home first, then the ones you don’t talk to nearly enough anymore.  Then it hits you, you can’t believe it, you miss the damn military…fuck.

Step 6

You have finally made peace.  You found a place in the world, an outlet for your energy, a source for your adrenaline cravings.  You’ve been promoted enough times at work that you’re making decisions now and affecting change.  You have reconnected with old buddies and even made some new ones.  You fill your days with stories of what once was, and think of new and unique ways to get in trouble.  Although you’re body is tired, your mind is strong and so you drive on.  You live for your family and find joy in serving someone or something.  Life is good again, and you miss the military…less.

 

-LJF

 

Getting out of the military is hard!  Don’t make it harder on yourself by not being prepared!  Buy CONUS Battle Drills:  A Guide for Combat Veterans to Corporate Life, Parenthood, and Caging the Beast Inside!