Tag: veteran

The 4 Big Questions- Why ETS?

  1. Do you know why you’re deciding to ETS?

This is really an important question that gets glossed over by guys.  If you’re answer is 0400 formations, or my wife hates the military, you might want to think twice and have some tough conversations.

I had a clear direction, and years later, that thought still resonates with me.

I didn’t want to miss a year of my son’s life.

I now have three kids and I cherish every single second I get to be with them.  There is no way I want to go back.  If you don’t know though, if it’s just that you’re pissed off at someone above you, or you want to grow a beard…

bro…you need to think about this.

I’ve seen several guys get out for the wrong reasons, and then a couple years later regret it.  You need to do this for you, not for someone else.  If your wife hates the military, you better take some time to soul search and communicate with her because if you get out and then resent her for making you do something you didn’t want to do, you’re going to lose her anyway and hate her even more.  So think about it, know the answer, and make sure it’s something that will still be there years to come.

I know it sounds crazy, but you are going to miss the military.  Maybe not the first day, or even the first year, but a time will come when you miss the excitement, the adrenaline, and the camaraderie.  If you aren’t solid on why you got out, it won’t go well for you.

Make a list of the reasons you want to get out then take a serious honest look at that list.  If it is full of whiny bullshit about SHARP classes or not being able to take leave when you want to, then you might not be emotionally ready for the challenges ahead of you when you get out.

For those of you retiring, congratulations, you made it!

-LJF

The 4 Big Questions-Finances

  1. Are your finances in order?

Before you get out, make sure you have zeroed out major debts.  I really recommend paying off cars and having as few monthly payments as possible.  Take a look at what your monthly expenditures are and make a budget.  This will let you know exactly what you need to survive.  If that number is equivalent to what you are making in the military (including BAH), then you’re spending too much.  Chances are, your first job is going to be equivalent to your base pay, if you’re lucky, but probably not higher.  So you’re going to have to learn to survive on just your base pay.  You are going to be entering a world where salaries are negotiable, and employers are going to offer you the least they think you will accept, so you need to know exactly how much you need.  You and your family are used to living at a certain standard, you’re going to start off below that standard, and you need to know exactly what your floor is.

Also, there are taxes to consider.  If you’re like me, I kept my Florida registration so I didn’t have to pay state income tax.  Once I got out, that all changed and it was a kick in the nuts to have that extra expense.  You’re going to have to pay for health care now as well and that’s not cheap.  There are a lot of unexpected financial hits that you’re going to take, and it’s best that you’re set up to take those punches.  If you’re not ready now, take a few months, maybe extend out your ETS date if you can so you can get it together.

Here is an example of what happens with my paycheck.  Take a look at the deductions and taxes!

paycheck

This is something I certainly wasn’t prepared for.  About 40% of my paycheck is gone before I even see it.  Some of that goes to pay for my healthcare, some goes into a 401k for retirement, some goes into a dental policy, and some goes into a Health Savings Account or HSA.  So if your target salary is $72,000 a year, make sure you’re not planning for having $6,000 a month in your bank account, you’re probably only going to bring home about $48,000 of that.

For most of you while you’re in, your base pay is pretty much equivalent to what ends up in your bank account.  If you’re deployed you’re not paying taxes, and if you’re stateside, you have COLA, BAH, and BAS.  Once you get out, everything is coming out of that base pay, plus health care costs, plus you’re paying for your retirement somehow.  I didn’t realize this and accepted a lower base salary than I would have if I realized I was going to lose 40% off the top.

If you’re thinking of getting out, go make a budget right now.  You can’t even start to look at jobs and salaries until you’ve figured this out.

 

 

-LJF

Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body

The best soldiers are those who are able to deal with large amounts of pain and keep moving forward.  Anyone with a tab or a trident will tell you that your mind will give up long before your body will.  You can handle the pain, you just need to know that you can handle it.

I’ve seen a man shot in the face and keep fighting, I’ve seen amputees finishing marathons, and I’ve seen countless men finish 20 mile ruck marches in bloody boots.  It’s the mental drive, the decision that quitting is not an option, that allows you to push your body to the extreme and accomplish great feats.

What we often forget is that when the mission is over, you go get fixed.  The mission called for it and you heroically ignored your own wounds to expose yourself again and again to enemy fire, sustaining multiple wounds, but now the mission is over, and you need to get those wounds addressed.  That’s easy to figure out when you have a bullet hole in your face.

But what do we do when those wounds are emotional?  Too many of us keep pretending that the mission is ongoing.  It’s important in battle to be stoic, to be able to see horrific things and move along to accomplish the mission, but if you keep that up forever, you’re never going to heal.  I’m not saying you’re broken or that you need to go see some shrink because your feelings hurt, but you need to expose those demons to the light.

Here’s what I want you to do: In the next 48 hours from when you read this, go find a buddy that has been in combat as well.  Find someone that you really trust (we all have at least one guy), maybe he was there with you, maybe not, but get in touch.  Have a beer and tell some war stories, but not just the fun ones, but the tough ones as well.

Just talk.

Some of you might actually need some real therapy, so this is not a substitute for that.  For the rest of us who are generally functioning members of society but sometimes want to smack stupid motherfuckers in the face in the office, this is for us.

It may be exactly what your buddy needs too.

 

-LJF